It’s important for anyone reading my testimony to understand that these are things that happened to me. My story is being shared to spread awareness on many levels. Information that has been provided is only to inform others that things like this does happen in real life. It’s not to harm anyone but again it is shared to spread awareness. All information provided is true; however, the names of the medical professionals and the hospital has been omitted intentionally for legal reasons.
I NEVER imagine things would turn out this way in my life but who knows how their life will turn out? I will say having a relationship with GOD really does cause things to be a lot better. Personally, I have experienced a GREAT loss but GOD has brought me a very long way. I am not 100%; however, when I think about it I will never be again. In May of 2014 a part of me died. I am still learning how to cope with the loss of my baby boy and it is not easy, at times it does get hard. So, one day at a time is the rule
I share my story to bring awareness to unexpected infant deaths.
I share my story because no one should ever endure the treatment Khairi and I have.
I share my story so, if just one mother or father read my story and learn that it is okay to question a medical professional opinion or that it is okay to ask for a 2nd opinion If people NEVER speak about the things that are wrong, then people will continue to believe WRONG is RIGHT when it is not.
We are supposed to help one another and I’m doing just that.
Personally, I am not saying that women will not lose babies. However, I am saying the way we were treated and the care we received should never be tolerated or accepted on any level. It should not matter whether you are a first-time mother or not. Personally, I believe some medical professionals need to stop being allowed to make careless mistakes that are basic and a part of a routine visit and get away with it. It is not fair that they can cover up their wrong and disrupt the lives of families and not be held accountable. People along with infants are losing their lives due to some medical professional’s lack of attention and care. They need to understand that infants are human and they have families and their families love them dearly
On May 24, 2014, my life took a turn that has traumatized me severely for life. On Monday, May 26, 2014, things became reality. The turn my life would take, is one I pray no mother would ever have to experience.
“You never know what anything is like until you have walked in the shoes yourself and just because you experienced the same thing someone else has gone through; you still don’t know the pain they felt when they went through their experience or what they felt like after the experience”.
I never imagined in my life that I would be writing or telling anyone the story that I have been living for the past months. Well, my story starts like this; it was a Saturday morning in February. I wasn’t feeling as I normally would, so I finally took the advice of Khairi’s father to take a test, so I did. I didn’t really expect to see all the lines that appeared but when they appeared it made me feel like I was all woman. So, for the next few months I grew bigger and began to get slower.
I started to realize a lot of what I use to do, I could no longer do anymore, no matter how badly I wanted to. This was hard to accept at first because I am a very independent person, but I accepted it. It was so amazing how something so small could change my life so quickly. It was like an instant change because of the love and bond that was growing between me and my unborn child.
Meanwhile, months later I started preparing for my baby shower and looking around for the best of everything because as a first-time mom I didn’t want to make any mistakes. I wanted things to be right. I soon learned there was no such thing as getting everything right. I started thinking of names, what extra curriculum activities he or she would participate in at school and what school he or she would attend, etc. Then the day came when I would learn the gender of my unborn child. I learned I would have a boy. At this moment, I knew then I had to read and educate myself on how to raise a respectful, well manner little boy. As it is known, no handbook comes with raising a baby. So, you learn from various places how to raise your child. I knew I wanted to incorporate how I was raised along with some things I learned from friends and other family members.
Unfortunately, on Saturday, May 24, 2014 I began having complications. I called the Dial-a-Nurse and told her I was spotting, cramping and had just experienced a gush of water. She told me things like this happens and to clean myself up, put a sanitary napkin on and go on with my day. She went on to say things were okay. Later on, in the day around 4p.m. I became worried because Khairi was not moving in ways that I were familiar with. So, I went to the hospital ER where my OB/GYN was in Birmingham, AL but I was sent to the Labor and Delivery. Once there I was placed on the fetal monitor and informed Khairi heart rate was around 162 bpm and that he was fine. I was tested to check for my amniotic fluid but it came back negative. I am told another test should have been done with dye to check for ruptures or at least a spectrum exam, well neither were done. I was then sent to have an ultrasound done while having the test done, I asked the Ultrasound tech, if Khairi was on my bladder. I was informed he was and that he was faced down. When the results came back it revealed that over 2.0 cm of amniotic fluid was gone. I asked if he would be okay and I was told he was fine. After 9 hours in the Labor and Delivery unit, I was discharged at around 12 midnight or a little after on Sunday, May 25, 2014. I was told to follow up with my OB/GYN the following week. I assumed I was being told right. I would have never thought everything that had been done to me or told to me was wrong. This was their job something they do every day. I thought by going to the hospital that I would get help. I thought I was in good hands. I thought I would be cared for. This is the place you come to when you are ill, right?
Later on, that Sunday I was still feeling the same but because I had been told I was okay the day before; I just kept things to a minimum and rested; meanwhile, after going to bed I was awaken to heartburn, after 30 minutes it cleared up. I went back to sleep feeling okay. Around 3 something in the morning I was awaken to what I thought were menstrual cramps which were on and off and later got worse all of a sudden but again I wasn’t thinking it could be labor because they said I wasn’t in labor when I visited the day before and there were no new symptoms. I think it was around 5 something when my precious angel arrived in the world. It turned out when I went to the hospital my water had broken and labor was a short time away. So, true because now I am face to face with my baby boy. I was a nervous wreck at this point. I was crying, bleeding, trying to make sure Khairi was ok and screaming that my baby was here. So, my mama called 911 but was put on a brief hold. Eventually, after about 5 minutes the emergency crew arrived and began working on me. They cut my son umbilical cord and placed Baby Khairi in a chug to keep him warm and placed him on oxygen. Baby Khairi was born breathing on his own and the emergency unit said he would be ok. They got us in the ambulance then called to see if a hospital close to home would accept me but they replied and said no because they couldn’t care for a 21-week infant, then the paramedic asked where my doctor was. I told him and they responded and said we were going there. Meanwhile, it wasn’t until later that I would discover that the person who took the call should have redirected the paramedics to UAB which have a Level 4 NICU. I will say the firefighter that had Baby Khairi took really good care of my baby boy. Finally, we approached the hospital and got to where we were going. Unfortunately, the paramedic had to holler at the nurses on the floor. No one there took my situation serious which was the reason for him hollering telling them to get up and show them where to take me. They did as he said and placed me in a room. Then emergency then the unit had to turn Khairi over to the nurse and things turned and got worse. The emergence unit had to remove their oxygen from Khairi so they could leave. Meanwhile, the nurses processed to clean me up then the doctor came in and started his examination. A nurse came in and began to input my info in the computer only to find out I had just been discharged less than 24 hours previous. The doctor was very surprised and asked, “Why were you here”. I informed the doctor about the experience I had with the gush of water, pain and bleeding. The doctor then said “everything was a “FALSE NEGATIVE” and that I should have never been discharged”. Then the nurse that took Khairi out came back in the room. I asked if he was in NICU and she said, “no he didn’t make it”. So, for a few minutes’ things were crazy. I cleared the room out from being hysterical, then the doctor and nurse came back and continued with the examination and admission. The doctor he would document everything in his notes. He also advised me to spend time with my baby boy.
Upon hearing from the staff the doctor I saw on that Saturday, the one that released me while in labor the one that paid us no attention came to my room to tell me she was sorry for my loss and that the test was 90 something percent accurate, at this point I realized what it was like to be paralyzed from the neck down. I actually wasn’t able to move or speak, making matters worse a nurse came in also and apologized. Two apologies back to back but neither could bring my precious angel back.
Later that day a nurse came in and asked me for the name I had given my angel. I named him Khairi which means “a kingly man” No real reason was ever given why my baby boy was born so early; however, it is obvious why he was born so early. The doctor on Saturday had overlooked something so critical, serious and life threatening for Khairi. There are a lot of things the doctor on Saturday would have known had she come in the room at least once to talk with me and examine me; however, this never happened. She never warned or advised me of any danger that I could be facing; all because she didn’t do her job. She went clearly by the results of the tests that were ordered. Seriously, I am not sure she went by those either because my fluid was low and she had the ultrasound along with the written report and diagnosis. She overlooked it all because it wasn’t until I got my records that I discovered the radiologist had clearly told her what was issue. The hospital stated my baby boy died of respiratory failure; only because he wasn’t placed back on oxygen after the emergency unit removed their oxygen because they had to leave with their equipment. Well I had to research respiratory failure. I found that respiratory failure is a condition in which the level of oxygen in the blood becomes dangerously low or the level of carbon dioxide becomes dangerously high. The hospital informed me this was the hardest type of loss because there were no answers to be provided. I was informed I would always wonder “was it this” or “was it that”. This can cause a person to lose their mind not having any answer as to what happened. Well, after being discharged I realized there were answers to be provided. I feel like this hospital in Birmingham, AL owe me some answers
Well, through it all I have managed to get from one day to the next by the grace of GOD because this is one of the most devastating things to go through in life. My baby wasn’t given a chance at life. One of the nurses informed me that my baby was placed in the room next to mine and left there. He was in there without oxygen, no help was provided to him. He may have been under this hospital viability age but HE WAS BREATHING and this hospital in Birmingham, Alabama did nothing to make the situation better. This was not ethical at all. Ethics teach us to go with the GREATER GOOD. This was not the greater good to allow an infant to lay without oxygen and die. The GREATER GOOD would have been to provide oxygen and incubator and go from there. Amillia Taylor from Florida was smaller than Khairi weighing 283 grams and 9 ½ long and she lived and is still living today in 2016 and based on reports doing good. This shows these babies can live through the challenges and that not all of them die or have major issues. So Khairi was far from being to young He was said to be too young to survive on his own. After being discharged from the hospital I started researching more and found all type of stories about how babies younger than Baby Khairi gestation week lived and babies Baby Khairi exact gestation week had lived, so the big question was “WHY? Why is my baby gone”? How could this happen? How could a hospital make so many mistakes? How could the medical professional not have compassion in a situation like this? My baby came into the world and arrived at the hospital breathing on his own with oxygen. Why didn’t they keep him breathing? Why was he not placed in an incubator, it is a form of a womb which regulate the oxygen level and body temperature? The oxygen was taken off of him without my knowledge. No one ever came to talk with me about anything. There are no reasons to be thought of why we were treated this way. However, I do believe statistics and personal beliefs played a part because I was told by the head Neonatal doctor, “they did not perform miracles at this hospital”. She went on to say, “If I wanted a miracle I should have gone to the hospital down the street”, referring to UAB. The hospital down the street may, but we don’t”. Why was I been treated so badly? I didn’t have it in me to do anything or speak a word to anyone. I was in a state of shock
Then came the time to bury my baby. After calling around trying to find a resting place for my little one. I felt like my baby was ripped from me with no medication, and then, someone came and stabbed me repeatedly until they got tired. The price to use some funeral homes and cemeteries were ridiculous. Some places told me $5000.00 to bury my 10 1/2-inch baby boy. They didn’t care that he was breathing. Yet, he was recognized as a baby to be buried but not as a baby to be kept alive. After dealing with that I laid my baby to rest and heard from GOD telling me to do something. I asked what and HE revealed help ease the pain that you felt when Khairi left you.
I live with the loss of my only child every day and will continue to until I join my baby boy in heaven. It is so hard trying to go on with life and stay in my right mind set because I am thinking about this little boy constantly. I am too afraid to have another child; mainly, because of the care. The care from the hospital really shook me up. I find myself crying now if I go to a hospital and the nurses are nice to me. I just ask why couldn’t the people on call when I had Khairi couldn’t been nice?
Meanwhile, while going through my pregnancy with the information I had been given at the beginning of my pregnancy. Unfortunately, after retrieving my medical records I found my son was actually a week older than originally told which meant Khairi was 22 weeks instead of 21 weeks. This does makes a big difference but what a time to find out that your child was older after he passes away.
Now, I live life trying to turn a devastating tragedy into something positive. I try to help other mother’s that may not be able to provide their infant with a proper burial. I started a nonprofit organization to provide infant burial assistance, emotional stability, financial services and to educate. If a mother is not provided with a strong support system with something of this magnitude it can break a mother, possibly destroy her. I want mothers to know there is someone that care and that we are here if needed.
I have to talk to my baby boy in heaven now…
My baby boy “Khairi”
Mommy loves you so much five months wasn’t long enough for me. I wanted so much to have forever with you; at least some time to see you grow. There was so much planned for your life; however, when GOD called you back that meant my plans for you would just be unfinished. It hurt so bad to have someone taken away the way you were. I would have done anything to have kept you another day, another month; really just to have kept you alive. Just a little more time to see your eyes, to see you play, to actually take pictures with you in my arms. I will forever and always remember you I just hate you had to go in this way. It is really hard to accept someone half doing their job and overlooking something that would take your life “permanently”. They took the right away from me by not telling me the danger you were in and because of that I just don’t think I will ever get over losing you. I will always, always love you forever and always
An online petition was started to help get justice for baby Khairi. Khairi’s mother was misdiagnosed by a doctor which contributed to his death. The doctor has since left the state. Therefore, Khairi’s mother started a petition at the link below.
Click on the link and the page will load where you need to sign.